Debriefing
by thisloser
Summary: Sequel to "For the Mission" You need to read that one to understand what's going on here. Ten years after the events of "For the Mission" Kakashi and Guy finally have to stop pretending nothing happened.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Debriefing

**Pairing:** Kakashi/Guy

**Rating:** M

**Notes:** Sequel to "For the Mission". I'd recommend you to read that one first to understand what's going on here.

* * *

><p>Never slowing his run, Kakashi rolled gracefully under the massive blade the mistnin swung like he was batting at mosquitoes, jerking and flailing. It went swooshing over his head without so much as touching the tips of Kakashi's grey hair. Slipshod swordsmanship never failed to amuse him.<p>

Kakashi drove his kunai into the other man's calf while he was still struggling with his weapon's weight, no doubt trying to cancel his swing in time to bring the edge down on Kakashi, but the laws of physics were working in Konoha's favor. One well-aimed downward slice took care of the tendons, and by extension the man, who, in pain and shock, but also in an ill-fated attempt to raise his two-handed sword, fell over backward just in time for Kakashi to pull out his kunai and bring it into and anticipatory position.

Steel met flesh with barely a sound. Kakashi rolled again, this time sideways to evade the spray of blood and the falling body.

_Two._

He got to his feet in the same fluid motion, behind him the not-quite-a-corpse-just- yet gurgled, no doubt turning the early autumn leaves he had landed on even redder.

Kakashi had no time to admire the vivid colors of fall, however, since he could hear a telltale rustle in the surrounding flora. Too much surrounding flora for his tastes. The marshy forests that separated the main part of the land of fire from the often storm-ridden coast, to be specific.

All kinds of foul plants and creatures thrived here – it was like the forest of death, just on a grander scale. In this mysterious – read foggy – area the adventurous shinobi could encounter a large diversity of fascinating organisms from the smallest – yet most poisonous – tree frog to the craziest missing-nin.

Speaking of which…

Kakashi braced himself, raising his blood-spattered kunai expectantly.

As if on cue, his attacker came running out of the underbrush with another huge sword and a battle roar that just screamed, "Look at me, I'm the distraction!"

Kakashi had enough time to snicker, before he was cut neatly in half. The clone disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving a water clone that blinked in confusion for a moment, then dissolved with a splash when Kakashi smashed his caster's head against the trunk of the tree he'd been hiding behind.

_Three._

Kakashi held his breath, and let his gaze wander over the small expanse of visible forest. A venerable prison of bar-like trees, already almost leafless and barren despite the earliness of the season, encased him.

Nothing.

Kakashi sighed and ventured into the direction his attacker had come from. He should have kept the team together, but it was hard with so many stragglers showing up and drawing them apart. Their mission was to shatter the smuggling ring a few missing nin had set up in the borderlands and the group they'd found had had more members and less solidarity among them than expected. They'd scattered in all directions the moment they'd caught glimpses of the Konoha shinobi.

Kakashi sniffed and smiled to himself. He set off towards the familiar scent.

* * *

><p>When Kakashi found him, Asuma was leaning against a tree, blowing quivering smoke circles; Kurenai stood beside him, waving them away whenever they came too close to her. The peculiar sight made Kakashi wonder why she didn't just stand a somewhere else.<p>

"Ah! Kakashi! You're late!" Guy jumped up from where he had crouched next to a body that was half obscured by the tall grass. "How many?"

Kakashi sighed. Well, he couldn't lie about this. "Three," he answered, doing his best to project an air of indifference, like he was just humoring Guy anyway. The low score irked him, especially since there had been quite a number of enemies, but the cowards had run into different directions, and Kakashi couldn't be everywhere at once.

"Hah!" Guy's impossibly wide grin grew even wider. There was a single yellow leaf stuck in his bowl cut; Kakashi resolved not to tell him. "Six," Guy gloated.

"Actually," Kurenai, who had watched in ill-concealed amusement so far, interrupted him before he could break into a triumphant speech. "Weren't some of them trapped in my genjutsu when you killed them?" She cocked her head, a glint of mischief in her eyes, "I don't know if they should count."

Kurenai winked at him.

"W-what?" Guy clutched at his chest, wounded. "Why?"

"Hm, maybe half-points?" Kakashi rubbed his chin as if in deep thought. "Or quarter-points since, technically, Kurenai did most of the work?"

Asuma exhaled a long string of smoke and watched it unfurl into the sky; apparently he didn't enjoy messing with Guy half as much as they did.

"It's true that I had help, while you fought alone," Guy's gaze had grown pensive. As much as he liked to gloat, he wanted to earn it fairly.

Kakashi was about to put a stop to Guy's agony by declaring all of his points half-points, thereby bringing the score to a 3:3 draw, and allowing Guy to buy him dinner at the next stop to make up for his first miscalculation when he caught a glimpse of something that looked like heat haze blurring the outline of the trees around them for just a second.

Which would have been unremarkable if it had been hot, but the forest was damp and cool; the sky above them mostly obscured by knotted, black arms of trees, what little of it was visible, a firm ash-grey.

He wasn't the only one who'd noticed either. Everybody stiffened almost imperceptively, catching each other's eyes. "How about we call it a draw?" Kakashi asked, slipping his hands into his pockets to feel for his weapons.

He sniffed the air around him, smelling nothing but moss, dried blood and sweat. He'd need a moment to filter out all the other odors.

Guy shot him an annoyed look, then slowly gazed over into the forest without turning his head. "Maybe that would be best," he said a little louder than necessary.

Asuma and Kurenai exchanged looks.

_There._

He raised his index finger, a fairly innocent gesture at first glance, that just happened to indicate a number if you wanted to read it that way.

One.

"You can buy me dinner later," Kakashi told Guy, pulling his headband up. Before Guy had time to protest, he broke into a run; Kurenai, Asuma and Guy on his heels.

Kakashi leapt into the branches, which creaked mournfully under his weight.

He caught a glimpse of something blue and threw a volley of shuriken at it. The sound of tearing fabric; then the trees started to bend and twitch.

He broke the genjutsu effortlessly.

Around Kakashi the trees became sparser, the sky brighter, the air carried a salty note. They were heading for the coast, he realized. Soon they would reach the Fire nation's natural border.

In the distance he could already hear waves crashing against the cliffs.

Suddenly, Guy appeared next to him, barely more than a green smear. Underneath the sound of the ocean there was another now. Equally rhythmic, but softer, smoother. Wind, not water.

When the fuuma shuriken came into view, Kakashi didn't even have to dodge because Guy plucked it out of the air like it hadn't even been moving at all. Sometimes his strength, speed and coordination could still surprise Kakashi.

Guy caught the shuriken and let its force spin him around, only he made a full 360 degree turn, and hurled the thing back where it came from. It sliced off a fair number of scrawny branches on its way, too, clearing their path and their sight.

They were almost at the cliffs. In front of them the forest opened up to a small grassy area that seemed to end in a jagged line, separating earth and sky. The end of Fire country.

Kakashi landed on the soft grass with a low thump, eyes fixed on the figure that seemed to stand on that very line.

The ground vibrated softly as Guy, Kurenai and Asuma landed to his left and right.

They started their attack simultaneously. Kurenai hung back, forming seals, while Kakashi, Guy and Asuma launched themselves at the single man in front of them.

Guy was there first, probably eager to earn that extra point that would absolve him from buying Kakashi dinner. He went straight at their enemy, fist drawn back for a punch and then hesitated.

It wasn't more than a split second, but it was enough for the other man to duck under Guy's arm, and fell him with a scything kick.

_What the hell?_

Kakashi was there in an instant, catching his wrist before he could lay another attack on Guy and pulling him up to meet is end at the blade of Kakashi's kunai. The man twisted in his grip, craned his neck to meet Kakashi's eyes, and grinned, his face lighting up with gleeful recognition.

_Fuck._

But Kakashi did not freeze, despite the icy shudder that traced his spine; he brought his weapon down with all his might. The man dissolved, not into water, but wisps of air, as if he'd never been there in the first place.

Kakashi spun around. A feeling of dread was wringing his stomach. Behind him, Guy snarled like a wounded animal, "Where?" A pulse of Guy's chakra echoed through his own body. This was not the right time for him to lose his temper and open the gates, Kakashi decided calmly.

Without turning around Kakashi made what was supposed to be a be-quiet-and-stay-down-gesture at Guy with his left hand, but somehow Guy must have gotten up in the meantime because Kakashi's hand ended up on his stomach instead, pressing gently against the warm rising and falling spandex right where Guy's vest gaped open.

Kakashi pulled his hand back as if burned. He swallowed. This wasn't the time, place or situation for memories.

Their enemy was nowhere to be seen. Had he somehow made it back into the dark forest?

"What the hell just happened?" Asuma asked. He'd been just centimeters behind Kakashi when the mist nin had disappeared. Kurenai was approaching now as well. Apparently none of them could feel their enemy's presence anymore.

Kakashi grit his teeth. He felt like someone had walked over his grave.

He looked at Asuma's angry-worried expression and felt the sudden urge to laugh.

Kakashi shook his head in an effort to clear it.

"Guy and I fought that mist nin ten years ago," he said calmly.

He could practically hear Guy grind his teeth.

"We killed him actually," he added with a lightness he didn't quite feel.

Technically, that wasn't really true, Kakashi realized. All they knew back then was that Tora had reported killing a Kirigakure ninja in the woods. At that time he'd had other things on his mind than asking Tora for clarification or examining the body. He'd been a careless captain. And now Tora was too dead to ask him anything.

Apparently, Statue was still alive.


	2. Chapter 2

A.N.: I realize I've forgotten to add a disclaimer, so here it is: I don't own Naruto and this is just for fun, not profit.

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><p>It was a lot harder to get Guy to return to Konoha than Kakashi had thought. Than it should have been, Kakashi thought.<p>

There was no trace of Statue. Kakashi summoned his ninken and let them sniff around, but they came up with nothing more than a scrap of blue cloth, pinned to a tree by one of Kakashi's shuriken. Kakashi put it into a small plastic bag, which he sealed carefully to preserve the scent.

"I guess that's all we can do here," he said. "We should go back and report."

Kurenai and Asuma nodded.

Guy didn't. His face seemed frozen, his posture rigid.

"You cannot be serious!" Guy balled his fists until his stood out white against his quickly reddening skin. "He's got to be around here somewhere!"

"Maybe," Kurenai said, but she didn't sound convinced. "He is a genjutsu type, hiding is probably his specialty, but he'd have to be pretty good to mask his scent to the extent that Kakashi's dogs can't pick it up."

"And even if he's still around here somewhere, how are we gonna find him like this?" Asmua made a vague gesture indicating the dense forest around them. "Without a trail it's impossible."

"And the trail ends at the cliffs," Kakashi added. "You know that. Plus, we've completed our mission. Those guys won't come back here again, and we're running late."

Guy narrowed his eyes at him. At i him/i, not Asuma or Kurenai. Like this was a personal disagreement between them, and not Kakashi's decision as squad leader. Like Kakashi was betraying him.

"I'll find him!" he barked, startling both Kurenai and Asuma with his intensity.

"We're leaving," Kakashi said coolly. He didn't doubt that, if he let Guy have his way, he'd proceed to tear the forest down in a frenzy and he couldn't have that. This was why he'd been against Guy's acceptance into ANBU so long ago. Not that they were in ANBU any longer.

He watched Guy's face contort in helpless rage, then turned without another word and left. A moment later Asuma and Kurenai followed.

Kakashi didn't turn around to check whether Guy caught up.

* * *

><p>The debriefing didn't go much better.<p>

Kakashi could practically feel Guy sulk throughout the whole thing, until Tsunade mentioned that another team had found and decoded a message saying that the leaders of the smuggling ring would have and emergency meeting at their hideout in the Land of Rivers. At that point Guy seemed to jerk awake, demanding that Tsunade send them – or at least him – to investigate.

Tsunade shot Kakashi a puzzled and vaguely annoyed look before denying Guy's request. This was search and destroy – some of the targets most likely bingo book criminals - S-Rank and therefore an ANBU mission. She asked for details on Statue, but Kakashi couldn't really give her much, apart from the scrap of cloth and some speculation since, despite running into him twice, they'd never really fought him.

When they were finally dismissed, Kakashi wanted to feel relieved – he had earned it after all – but ended up feeling slightly uneasy instead. He dragged himself home to sleep it off.

* * *

><p>Kakashi was roused by a knock on his door the next morning. To his annoyance he didn't feel particularly rested.<p>

He felt even less rested when a chunin messenger told him that the Hokage wanted to speak to him.

* * *

><p>Tsunade glared at him over the polished surface of her desk, bare except for a single piece of paper lying in front of the Hokage, which she tapped it in an irritated manner as she spoke.<p>

"Is there something you didn't tell me yesterday?"

Kakashi looked at her blankly. He couldn't think of anything. Yes, he'd been brief about his previous encounter with Statue in his ANBU days, but all the important information had been there, just like it was in his mission report from ten years ago.

_Mission complete. No casualties. _

"I don't think so, Hokage-sama," he answered honestly.

"Then how do you explain this?" she asked and have the paper a flick with her finger, sending it sliding across the surface of her desk. Surprised, Kakashi barely managed to catch it before it sailed to the floor.

It was a transfer request form, Standard, neatly typed on white paper. Temporary transfer to ANBU, the subject line read. Below it, all the required fields were filled in in familiar handwriting.

Kakashi didn't really need to look at Guy's elaborate signature; he'd realized it was his the moment he'd seen the headline, really. He had to fight the urge to crumple it up.

"So you didn't know," Tsunade said. His expression must have given him away. He couldn't imagine what he looked like right now, but apparently his feelings were written on his face, plain to see, despite most of it being covered by his mask.

"I would have told him not to do this," Kakashi said. He wondered if that would have made any difference.

"I'm not going to grant it." Tsunade took the form back and put it into a drawer. "His team may not be here for the next few weeks, but he is still their teacher. If you know what brought this on you'd better tell me."

Kakashi swallowed. He had never talked about this to anyone, and he was fairly certain that Guy hadn't either. He had put the whole experience behind him, so what was there to say, really? The mission had been successful; he had brought his squad back to the village unharmed. Nothing else mattered.

Tsunade was sensing that something was off. Her face had softened while she watched him struggle for words.

"Kakashi…" she prodded gently.

He sighed.

"That mist nin's team wasn't part of the group we'd been sent to fight," he began tentatively. "I split the squad into teams of two to search the area for survivors. I didn't think we'd find any more than one or two…" And he was trying to justify himself, Kakashi realized. He'd felt guilty afterwards.

He_ still_ felt guilty.

Tsunade was giving him her undivided attention, so Kakashi soldiered on.

"I was wrong, there were more, and just when Guy and I had dealt with them, that other group showed up."

This was the hard part.

"We were exhausted. They captured us," Kakashi paused abruptly, unsure how to go on.

The memory, now that he was actively trying to dig it up, was startlingly clear. He could see the scene play out inside his mind like he was watching his life on film.

Tsunade didn't push him any more. She sat in her chair, looking at him in a serious, calm manner that didn't betray any emotions.

He gazed past her, out of the window, at the picturesque blue sky that seemed to stretch into infinity.

"They didn't kill us… they wanted to have some fun with us first." The last part came out in a rush, a jumble of words, that, Kakashi felt, weren't really adequate. Somehow they made it sound worse than it had been. Surely, the Hokage would fill in what he'd left out and her imagination might supply all kinds of atrocities. It hadn't been like that.

Not like _that._

But clarification would mean that he'd have to go into details and he didn't want that either.

"I see," Tsunade said evenly. He was grateful for the lack of empathy or –worse- pity she showed. She'd seen and heard worse than this.

And so had he, Kakashi reminded himself. So had Guy for that matter.

"I think Guy took it personally," he added as an afterthought.

"What about you?" There was concern in the Hokage's voice, but it wasn't without an edge. She cared about him, but the village came first. She needed to make sure that she could rely on him. Kakashi understood that.

"It was a mission," he said. "If you send me to track down that mist nin, I will do it. If you don't, I'll trust your judgment, Hokage-sama." He meant it, too.

She gave him a long look, then nodded in satisfaction.

"What about Guy?"

Kakashi could just about hide his flinch. Guy was… difficult sometimes. He'd always had a quick temper and a tendency to act before he thought, but Kakashi was loath to talk badly about him behind his back.

"He won't outright violate your orders," he said, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

"But if I don't order him to stay put, he might interpret this as permission to run off and chase this missing nin on his own," Tsunade finished for him. "Talk to him," she sighed. "And tell him that I'll see what I can do about his request."


	3. Chapter 3

Finding Guy was the easiest part of his task. When he didn't answer his door, Kakashi simply made a beeline for the training grounds. There all he had to do was follow the sounds of destruction.

He found Guy at the edge of the wide field that served as training ground ten, where the lower academy classes usually had their taijutsu lessons. Guy had left most of the actual training ground intact and had moved into deeper into the surrounding the forest.

Kakashi hopped over a cracked rock, following the trail of destruction – broken stone and deep tracks in the dirt, trees that looked unnaturally ruffled- and there was Guy punching the sap out of a poor, defenseless tree, bark splintering under his fists.

Kakashi leaned against a more fortunate specimen and just watched Guy in silence for a moment, waiting for a reaction that would give him an opening.

He didn't get one. Guy kept punching stoically, his callused knuckles not even reddened.

"Well… I can certainly understand how you feel," Kakashi broke the silence, watching Guy's face closely for a reaction. Guy stopped punching but didn't meet Kakashi's eye. A muscle jumped in his clenched jaw.

"Because I," Kakashi continued, unfazed, "…I've always hated that tree, too."

Guy made a sound between a snort and a humorless laugh and spun around in a manner so sudden and violent that it had Kakashi raising his arms in defense. Guy's roundhouse kick hit the trunk of the tree full force, felling it with a thunderous crack, followed by an ominous, mournful creak as it fell slowly and crashed into the surrounding foliage.

Sighing, Kakashi watched the spectacle, then, once the dust had settled, turned to Guy.

"I'm training, rival," Guy said, consternation written on his face, plain as day.

"Hmm, " Kakashi folded his arms, leaning back against his tree again, trying to look relaxed. "If you're preparing for your ANBU transfer, you might as well not bother because it won't happen. "

Guy's eyes flashed, just as Kakashi had expected. The return of the hot-blooded dropout.

"You!" The word exploded from his lips together with a few drops of spit. Ever cautious, Kakashi leaned away; Guy didn't seem to notice, he was too busy trying to talk about something without actually talking about it. "Why?" Guy's desperate shout lost itself in the depths of the forest. It did nothing but startle a few birds. He was nowhere near done, though. "Why are you so cool about this? Why don't you-"

"What?" Kakashi interrupted, "devastate the local plant life, request a transfer to ANBU?" _Act like a lunatic_, he thought.

Guy shook his head hard. For a second Kakashi thought there were tears flying out of the corners of his eyes, but it might have just been droplets of sweat. He bit his lip, catching some of his mask's fabric between his teeth.

Guy, however, didn't notice how tense he was. "This is no joke! That man needs to be punished!"

"So what? He will be caught; he'll probably be killed, whether you're there or not. Why do you care?"Kakashi spoke the words in a deliberately low, even tone, as calmly as possible to make Guy realize how unreasonable he was being.

Of course, that was futile.

"The question should be, why don't _you_ care!" Guy pointed at him, all indignation and accusation. "You know what happened, you were there! You… I… we…" He ran out of words and out of steam. Pitiful.

"We were lucky," Kakashi supplied. He let his head sink back against the rough bark of his tree and inhaled the soothing smells of the forest, wondering how long this ordeal would take.

Guy did an overly incredulous double-take, that, for once, wasn't exaggerated for dramatic effect, Kakashi suspected. At least he seemed completely at a loss for a change. No poses or speeches up his green sleeves; he just stared as if Kakashi had slapped his face.

"We could have died on that mission," Kakashi elaborated for his mentally slower-paced friend, "actually, we should have because we messed up – _I_ messed up. But we're alive, so, clearly, we were lucky."

"It's not as simple as that," Guy said, his voice was soft now; he sounded tired, defeated. Kakashi hoped it was a sign that he'd reconsidered, but then he whispered, almost too low to hear, "some things are worse than –"

"Think about that," Kakashi interrupted, a sudden , hot flash of anger making him jerk out of his relaxed pose. "Really think this through," as usual, his voice grew softer and sharper with fury, "because you wouldn't be here now and you would never have become a teacher, you'd have never even _met _your students. So, how much better would that have been? "

Guy was gritting his teeth and clenching his fists, standing his ground as if he had any kind of ground to stand. There was no reasoning with him on this apparently. _Fine,_ Kakashi thought, _think what you want. _But the bad taste that sentence had left in his mouth wouldn't vanish. The anger wouldn't subside and, although Kakashi wouldn't have admitted it under torture, there was more than anger; he was hurt… and – after a decade – he was starting to doubt himself.

"I will do what I feel I have to do, you do whatever you want," Guy spat after a few seconds of intense, silent glaring and stalked off.

Kakashi chose not to dignify that with an answer.

* * *

><p>He should have known that that wouldn't be the end of the whole affair. After all, what had Tsunade-sama said to him before she sent him to talk some sense into Guy (and he might as well have tried to talk some sense into a rock)?<p>

_I'll see what I can do about his request._

It was a shame that he hadn't realized sooner that this did not necessarily mean she would deny the damn request.

Kakashi stared at the scroll in his hand, then over to Guy, who bowed deeply, then he sighed just as deeply, from the very bottom of his heart.

"Any questions?" Tsunade-sama asked pointedly, one eyebrow raised, daring Kakashi.

He did have one in fact. A simple _why_.

Of all the shinobi in Konoha, why did she have to send Guy and him after that… person? Why not somebody else?

Anyone else.

He stared at the scroll again, neatly wrapped and nestled in the palm of his hand it looked harmless, but its contents were nothing short of a catastrophe for Kakashi. Not a transfer to ANBU at least, but still, a whole week alone with Guy on some dull cliff overlooking a valley in the land of rivers where their target was expected to meet up with a group of smugglers.

For the next seven days he'd be trapped with Guy in the middle of nowhere.

_Hooray_, Kakashi thought.


	4. Chapter 4

A good shinobi didn't question his Kage or his mission. Kakashi, however, had stopped being a good shinobi when Obito died. Therefore, when the Fifth dismissed them, Kakashi quickly formed the seals for a teleportation justu, but didn't focus his chakra. As soon as Guy had vanished in a puff of smoke, he gave up the pretense and shoved his hands into his pockets, the fingers of his right hand closing around the scroll he'd pocketed earlier.

"Hokage-sama, I'm not trying to be disrespectful-"

Tsunade cut him off with a brusque wave of her hand. "Save it, I've talked to Guy."

Involuntarily, Kakashi stiffened. A barrage of thoughts chasing through his mind, an onslaught of emotions almost strong enough to make his knees buckle, shame prominent among them, sharp and bitter. As a shinobi, as a man, Kakashi knew he had to compose himself and quickly.

Tsunade was studying his reaction with a clinical expression; her eyes glinting in the evening light like a surgeon's scalpel, poised and ready to cut out the tumor as soon as it was found. The intensity of her gaze made Kakashi want to squirm, but he held himself in check by avoiding her eyes and looking down at the polished surface of her desk instead. It was unmarred and shiny, suspiciously so, as if it wasn't used all too often, but not shiny enough to torment him with his reflection.

"I don't know the details," Tsunade said, far more gently now, to put him at ease, as his discomfort must have been painfully obvious. "They don't matter anyway."

Kakashi looked into Tsunade's eyes, searching them for any hints that might give away her state of mind and, more importantly anything that might tell him how much she knew. But despite her reputation as the world's worst gambler her poker face was impenetrable, betraying neither sadness nor pity.

Still, Kakashi was at a loss. He hadn't asked her to give the mission to somebody else – and he wasn't sure whether he should do so now, since that would mean he had feelings about the whole thing, which he did not - but, after their talk about Guy's transfer request, he had thought her unwilling to let them get involved in the mission. Because Guy was affected by the situation; his judgment was clouded and that was dangerous.

He decided that honesty was his best bet.

"He shouldn't go," Kakashi said.

"As I've said, I've talked to him and he wasn't irrational – well, not more so than usual, anyway – and…" Tsunade broke off, rearranging her line of argument. She tried again, really fixating him with a piercing, sincere gaze, "Kakashi, Guy practically begged me to go and I have no reason to deny his request. Now, our man might show up in the land of rivers or he might take his merry band of criminals somewhere else, in which case I have two ANBU squads waiting to chase him down."

She paused, giving her words time to sink in.

"So, this is a trick? To distract Guy?" Kakashi didn't know how he felt about that. He should have been happy, preventing Guy from going on this mission had been his agenda after all, and yet he felt oddly bad about this. It was one thing to con Guy into paying for his lunch and similar little things, but this? This was wrong, even if it was for Guy's own good; it was still _wrong_. And it made Kakashi burn with indignation on Guy's behalf. He was about to speak up, to protest – in a calm and controlled manner of course – when Tsunade shook her head.

"No, it's a gamble and Guy knows that, too. Even if I had granted his transfer to ANBU, there wouldn't have been a guarantee that he'd be in the squad that got to the target first. Truth is, we don't know for sure where and when he will show up next. That valley in the land of rivers is one possibility since we've linked him to a ring of smugglers there. "

Hearing her say that was a relief to Kakashi, though he wouldn't have liked to admit that. He should have trusted the Hokage's judgment. Tsunade knew what she was doing and she cared about her subordinates, which was almost as important.

"That leaves us with only one last question," Tsunade continued, leaning a little closer to him and narrowing her eyes as if she was examining a product she was about to buy for sloppily covered flaws, "do you want this assignment?" A shockingly direct question that made Kakashi feel completely exposed. "Because I've been watching you, and you can say what you want, I can tell that this affects you too."

Kakashi suppressed a flinch at that; he'd thought himself unreadable, a closed book with a blank cover. Also, why ask him now, after she'd already assigned them? The truthful answer was that of course, he didn't want to go on that mission, considering the mood Guy was in, considering that it would probably lead to them having to deal with things that should be water under the bridge, but if he said no now, then what?

"It's not about whether I want the assignment or not, is it?"

"I won't force you, if that's what you're concerned about." Tsunade's expression was earnest and calm, a picture of matter-of-fact-ness. "I will send Guy, but if you want out, I'm sure either Asuma or Kurenai can take your place." With the light from the windows hitting her face like that, Kakashi could see flecks of gold in her hazel eyes.

Tsunade wasn't soft, few shinobi were – you couldn't afford it if you wanted to survive – but she knew pain, which was why he didn't doubt the sincerity of her offer.

He wanted to take her up on it. Let Guy chase his demons to his heart's content, maybe the whole thing would just blow over when he came back; he'd have had his revenge, or maybe not.

Even while he was entertaining this line of thought, Kakashi knew that he would go. He had to. He couldn't let Guy do this alone. After all, what if Guy did run into Statue? In his state… what if he slipped up and got hurt, or worse? Kakashi would never be able to forgive himself. As much as he trusted Kurenai, Asuma and any of his other fellow Konoha shinobi, there was just no way he could let anyone else accompany Guy on this particular mission.

"I'll go," he said, cursing Guy's stubbornness.

* * *

><p>Kakashi sighed and adjusted the strap of his heavy backpack. It'd been a while since he'd last had to pack for a whole week in the middle of nowhere with no chance of stopping by a village to buy provisions.<p>

Plus, he had no idea how many and what type of enemies they'd have to face. Maybe zero, maybe ten… Kakashi sighed again.

As he walked past, shopkeepers hurried around, opening their stores for the business day that was just beginning, which told Kakashi that he was at least twenty minutes too late already. A young woman struggled, trying to navigate through a door with a crate of cabbages to set up her stand outside. When she tilted her box a little too far and spilled half her goods, Kakashi was quick to bend and help her hunt down the rolling cabbages. After all, he had time to kill.

* * *

><p>When Kakashi arrived at the gate, Guy was pacing up and down the side of the main road like a man possessed. He was so caught up that he didn't even notice Kakashi until Kakashi approached him from behind and slapped the top of his backpack in greeting.<p>

"Ready?" Kakashi asked, narrowly dodging Guy's elbow as the startled man whipped around. "Careful now, don't want us to get injured before the big mission." Kakashi took one look at Guy's beet-red face. "Or to get a heart attack," he added.

"YOU'RE 34 MINUTES LATE!" Guy erupted, drawing the attention of everyone in the busy street. But only for a moment, until they realized there was no show, it was just Guy being Guy. "DO YOU EVEN OWN A WATCH?"

"Nope, don't need one," Kakashi answered and sauntered past the furious madman in green. "For some reason people always tell me what time it is," he called over his shoulder, stepping through the village gate onto the road to the forest of wind.


	5. Chapter 5

Kakashi stepped to the edge of the cliff and looked down into the valley. Green fields stretched as far as he could see, the illusion of infinity complete.

A single dirt road cut more or less diagonally through the otherwise untouched landscape, but even this sole touch of civilization seemed completely deserted, and, if they were lucky, it would stay that way. At least that was what Kakashi thought; Guy's opinion on the matter was another story.

And just as he was thinking about him, the man in question emerged from the trees with a rustle and landed next to Kakashi.

Normally, Guy would have said something loud and ridiculous about how quickly they would complete the mission or how they were invincible or_ something_. Today, however, Guy merely stood, glaring down into the valley, radiating grim determination.

"I guess this'll do," Kakashi said, just to break the silence, "it's a little exposed for my tastes, but we'll probably see them before they see us. That is, if they happen to pick this route." That last part he'd just had to add to prepare Guy gently for potential disappointment.

"He will be here, I know it."

So much for being the voice of reason, Kakashi thought, cringing at Guy's tone. His gut was already telling him that this mission would not go well. Every time he actually looked at Guy and saw the tight set of his jaw, the rigidity of his posture, he felt his own body tensing up in response. They were a team, had been for a long time, it was only natural to be attuned to each other, but for once Kakashi wasn't too grateful about that fact.

"Let's set up camp and eat. I'm starving," he said, keeping his tone light.

He shrugged off his heavy backpack, then sat down on the grass and watched Guy set up the tent in record time. Seeing Guy hammer the tent stakes into the ground with his bare fists made Kakashi grit his teeth.

So much anger.

If Statue did show up, how much of a liability would Guy be?

Unwilling to watch it any longer, Kakashi got up and moved to sit down near edge of the cliff where he unpacked his bento, if it could indeed be called that. Only the box looked the part, its contents were somewhat… disappointing. Even Kakashi would admit that.

He looked at the two pathetic onigiri he'd managed to make before he'd had to leave. They'd already lost some of their shape, and as he picked one up, it fell apart in his hands, shedding rice like a cherry tree shed flower petals. He pulled down his mask, took a bite and grimaced. The things were completely stale; he shouldn't have used the three day old leftover rice from his fridge after all.

He was trying in vain to clump some of the loose rice from the bottom of his lunch box back onto his riceball when Guy stomped over and wordlessly plopped down on the grass, his back to Kakashi.

They sat in silence, Guy rummaging through his backpack in search of his own provisions and Kakashi glaring at the disgusting lump of rice in his hands; an invisible wall seemed to separate them.

Finally, Kakashi dropped his onigiri back into the metal box in his lap. In front of him, the valley lay, treacherously peaceful, awaiting nightfall, behind him, he heard the click of Guy opening his own lunchbox.

Round and orange like yolk, the sun hung low over the horizon, almost touching the line where the fields appeared to be cut off by nothingness. At this moment, from Kakashi's position it looked like the world ended just a few miles ahead; it felt like it, too, as if, if he got up and went down there now, he'd really find everything gone; he'd stand on the edge of another cliff, only with that one there'd be no valley, just endless white fog. Nothing.

He was pulled out of his strange thoughts by the mouthwatering smell coming from Guy's bento which promptly caused his stomach to emit an embarrassingly loud growl. A quick glance over his shoulder confirmed what his nose had told him; Guy's large bento box was indeed filled to the brim with delicious-looking food.

With unconcealed longing, Kakashi stared at the tempura and slices of fried chicken. Watching a bite of artfully rolled nori-tamagoyaki vanish between Guy's lips was too much for him. This unfair imbalance had to be corrected!

"Na, Guy?"

Guy, who apparently hadn't even noticed that he was the only one eating, looked up from his lunch to shoot him a glare over his shoulder. Not exactly the reaction Kakashi had expected, but not nearly enough to intimidate him.

"How about a trade?" he asked cheerfully.

"What kind of trade?" Suspicion had snuck into Guy's voice; they'd known each other for too long; Guy had learnt to be wary of Kakashi's little ploys.

"Remember lunch breaks at the academy?" Kakashi half turned and offered his open bento box to Guy, "one of my onigiri for some of your chicken?"

"I made them myself," he added with faux-pride when his friend didn't react.

"I can see that."

"They may not look like much, but they're extremely tasty." Kakashi practically shoved the box into Guy's face. "Don't judge a book by its cover."

"I think I'll pass, rival."

Well, when all else failed, there was always one surefire way left to get Guy to do what he wanted him to do.

"Hm, it's a shame that you're too scared to try one. They're really good."

"Maybe I am too scared," Guy said, causing Kakashi to almost faint from shock. The Might Guy he knew wouldn't have said that. Not in a thousand years; he'd never not yelled "Who are you calling scared?!" before, he'd never not jumped at the chance to prove himself, no matter how silly the challenge.

"There's no need to trick me into sharing my food with you, Kakashi. If you're hungry, just say so." Without looking at him, Guy set his bento down on the ground and pushed it in Kakashi's general direction.

If he hadn't been so hungry, the sheer bleakness of the atmosphere might have stopped him from helping himself to the offered food, but as it was, he decided to fight back. Guy wanted to play the reserved one? Fine, then Kakashi would just have to play his part instead.

Determined, he scooted backwards until he bumped into Guy, then reclined against the solid wall of Guy's back, stretching his legs and snatching some tempura from the lunchbox next to them.

"We never did this when we were kids," he mused, "seems like a waste now."

"_You_ wouldn't have shared your lunch with anyone back then, rival." There was no accusation in Guy's voice, just a blank statement of facts.

Kakashi couldn't deny it. It was the truth. Back in the early days of the academy, he'd had enough offers from girls and boys who wanted to spend time with him, wanted to become his friends. They admired him. But to him they looked like cardboard cutouts, they were bodies that took up space, voices that usually shouted silly nonsense or gave wrong answers to the teachers' questions. They hadn't mattered to him at all.

The only time he even noticed Guy was the day he came to the academy with a bandana wrapped around his neck, proclaiming that it was way cooler than Kakashi's scarf – the scarf he'd only worn because it was one of the few presents his mother had given to him before she'd died.

Guy never asked him to trade lunches.

Kakashi wouldn't have traded the meals his father used to make for him for anything anyway.

They ate quietly for a bit, Kakashi turning over old pages in his mental book of regrets and Guy lost in his own thoughts, while red spread in the sky above them like a bloodstain.

"This is actually pretty tasty," Kakashi said finally when they were down to the last few bites. "I didn't know you were such a good cook."

"I didn't make this; my wonderful student did."

"Lee?" Kakashi eyed the scrap of tamagoyaki between his chopsticks suspiciously. "Lee can cook?"

"Why wouldn't he? He has been taking care of himself for years." Guy didn't even sound proud, then again, why would he? The same thing had been true for him when he was Lee's age.

Still, Kakashi shrugged. "So has Naruto, and I'm pretty sure he can't even boil an egg."

"Maybe you should have taught him then."

That stung.

"Ouch," he said mildly.

Apparently, grumpy Guy was a force to be reckoned with; Kakashi decided that, while he didn't like the idea of his friend being in pain, he didn't actually mind being told off. It was a little late for this particular point of criticism, though.

Having finished the meal, Kakashi set his chopsticks aside, and stretched, his back pressing hard into Guy, who grumbled and shifted.

"It's good that the two of you are still so close, though, despite everything." Kakashi knew he could be a mean bastard when he wanted to, but he'd never felt that it was necessarily a bad trait; on the contrary, in the ninja-world it often came in handy.

When Guy didn't reply, however, it occurred to Kakashi that he'd gone and seen Lee before the mission – probably nothing out of the ordinary, although Kakashi himself wasn't exactly in the habit of saying goodbye to Sakura before he left the village – but still. Guy had avoided everyone else – the way he tended to do whenever he_ really_ felt bad, which happened maybe once in a decade – and yet he'd still spent time with Lee.

The realization irked him because, truth be told, Kakashi had a secret, namely that, whenever he had a bad day, he'd wander around the village until he happened to bump into Guy. For years, he'd done it more or less unconsciously, after all, he lived in Konoha and occasionally had to get from one place to another, and sooner or later Guy always crossed his path anyway – so what if he'd taken the slightly longer way past the training ground? That was just coincidence.

Or so he'd tell himself.

It had taken him some time to admit it, even to himself, that being with Guy never failed to make him feel better.

And it actually hurt a little to find out that Guy didn't feel the same way about him.

He had no time to dwell on his injured pride, though, because, without warning, Guy got up, and strode past Kakashi to stand at the edge of the cliff and glare into the dark valley.

"I'm taking first watch," he said, not even turning around.

"You don't have to." At this point, Kakashi knew that his protests would be pointless, but he felt like he had to try at least, to remind Guy that he wasn't alone in this, if nothing else.

"I want to."

_Right,_ Kakashi thought, _have it your way then._

Well, it wouldn't make a difference anyway; still, he was not going to let this become Guy's lone quest for revenge. Better to nip it in the bud.

By the time Guy felt the change in his chakra flow and turned around, Kakashi had already bit his thumb and formed the seals to summon his dogs, leaving Guy nothing to do but glare some more, which was fine with Kakashi, really.

"Pakkun stays with Guy; the rest of you scatter. If you detect any movement in the valley, you come back here and alert us. Do _not_ engage."

He watched the dogs take off in a cloud of dust and Guy settle down at the edge of a cliff, Pakkun following behind.

Reassured by his dogs' presence, Kakashi finally felt safe enough to get some sleep.

He hoped that, if Statue really had to show up, he'd hurry at least. He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible; he wanted things to go back to the way they were. He wanted his friend back.

He spent another moment looking at Guy's dark silhouette, barely distinguishable from the starry nightsky, and the smaller shadow that sat down next to him.

Then he turned and left to get some rest, his heart heavy in his chest.

But despite everything, Kakashi couldn't quite suppress a smile when, just as he slipped into the tent, he heard a familiar voice ring out behind him.

"Hey, Guy, wanna touch my paw?"


	6. Chapter 6

Something was scratching his arm. "Boss? Oi?"

Kakashi opened his eye and found himself looking into Pakkun's scrunched up little pug-face.

"About time," Pakkun said.

"Something wrong?"

"Nope, valley's quiet; has been all night. But take a look around." Pakkun inclined his head, indicating their surroundings.

The tent was quiet, too. No threat that Kakashi could make out, but the green canvas walls were aglow, backlit by sunlight. He frowned. This was not how things were supposed to be.

"Where is he?" he asked, throwing off his blanket and sitting up.

"Pretty much exactly where you left him last night."

Kakashi grabbed his vest and headband off the ground. "Why didn't you wake me earlier?" he asked, careful not to make it sound like an accusation. He had already decided that Pakkun was not to blame for this. Guy was. Irrational, stubborn Guy and his stupid grudge.

"Because tall, dark and grouchy wouldn't let me," Pakkun complained. "What's eating him anyway? Never thought I'd say it, but I'm starting to miss his sparkly youth-shtick."

"Nothing important." It wasn't like him to be curt and evasive with the dogs – they were like a part of him – this time, however… He couldn't even begin to explain this mess. Instead, he pulled on his vest, ignored Pakkun's disgruntled frown and stepped out into the sunshine.

* * *

><p>Pakkun had not been exaggerating. Kakashi found Guy not only in the exact same spot he had left him the night before but also in the exact same position, sitting at the very edge of the cliff, no doubt staring down into the valley with eyes that in Kakashi's imagination were blood-shot and unblinking. Mad.<p>

The sun wasn't doing Guy any favors, painting him in mercilessly bright colors against the wide open sky. It made him look unnatural, like something removed from some other place and stuck into a picture he didn't belong in.

_We really shouldn't be here._

Kakashi's anger was a short-lived thing; it died a quick insect-death like it usually did if he had even as little as a second to think. He wasn't mad at Guy, but he didn't know what he was.

Frustrated with himself and everything else, Kakashi walked up to the cliff and put his hand on Guy's stiff shoulder.

"My shift," he said. "Get some rest."

"I'm fine, Rival." Guy's reply was hardly more than a grunt. He didn't move, not even to turn around to look at Kakashi. Stubbornly, his eyes remained fixed on the valley.

_Great._

"I don't care; you're going to sleep. You're not a genin, Guy, do I really have to explain watch shift division on a two-man squad to you?" Questioning his professionalism and skill, that usually worked.

"I don't need a break; you know I can take them, no matter how long I have to wait!" This time Guy did turn, a little, to glance at Kakashi. His eyes weren't bloodshot – yet – but they did hold a certain manic glint, although that wasn't really all that new for Guy.

"So you don't trust me to do my part to complete this mission?" Kakashi drawled. He was actually starting to get irritated again. He wanted this over and done with, and Guy's pigheadedness was counterproductive.

They were good on missions like this, usually. They made a good team, the best, Guy would say – and the statistics were on his side on this; their record was spotless – _usually._

Now, though, Kakashi was looking into Guy's feverish eyes and feeling his synapses fire sparks of resentment.

This was Guy's fault. All of it. Not just this wild goose chase of a mission, but even one that started this all. If Guy hadn't pigheadedly insisted on joining ANBU just to catch up to Kakashi, _none_ of this would have happened.

Guy was glaring at him over his shoulder with narrowed eyes. "I trust you," he said, but his expression didn't match his words and his tone was low, almost threatening.

"Go to sleep." Kakashi stared past his friend's profile into the sky as if he was addressing the blue sky and the clouds instead of one stubborn, useless man. He was thinking about back then, about the person he had been, the person Guy had been, and how they had somehow grown and transformed and arrived at this.

He gripped Guy's shoulder more tightly, maybe painfully, because he wanted to hold on to _something _at least. His resentment had deserted him as quickly as it had come. He had always had a hard time being mad at anyone who wasn't himself.

Guy didn't move.

"I'm taking watch." Kakashi let go and sat down on the grass, knees drawn up, both feet firmly on the ground. He scooted forward until he was right next to Guy, whofinally got up, as if driven by some incomprehensible urge to do the opposite of whatever Kakashi did.

_Fine by me,_ Kakashi thought. He followed Guy's movements with his eye.

Guy didn't speak; he stood over Kakashi for a moment, towering, seeming huge from Kakashi's point of view, as if even the sky had to stretch to contain his suddenly impossibly tall frame.

Then he turned and walked towards the tent, and Kakashi did not sigh in relief although he felt the impulse. He hadn't been holding his breath; he hadn't been expecting a fight. Not over this, had he?

An inch from his feet, the cliff broke off into nothingness, a wall of jagged rock. If you dared to look down, you saw that it was almost at a perfect ninety-degree angle to the ground far below. As if some giant had come along and neatly broken off half of the mountain.

Defiantly, Kakashi didn't look down, even more defiantly, he didn't turn around when he heard the slap of the tent flap and familiar footsteps behind him.

Compared to a lot of shinobi, Guy was a heavy man, but you didn't hear it unless he wanted you to hear it – which often he did. Not now, though, now, he walked as if, with every step, he was expecting to hear the crack of breaking ice under the soles of his sandals.

Kakashi barely heard the rustle of grass, not even when Guy sat down, only the blanket, the sound of shifting fabric as Guy draped it over himself.

"It's sunny, rival," he said. "I'll sleep here."

_Why fight? Why even be here in the first place?_

When it came down to it, Kakashi had to admit it to himself, he was here only for Guy. So fighting him on anything would be pointless, wouldn't it? Which was why he remained quiet despite his irritation.

If Guy wanted to sleep on the cliff because he didn't trust Kakashi, fine.

* * *

><p>It took a while for Guy's pretend sleep to turn into a real one – a light one, probably. His eyes were closed, though, finally not fluttering every few seconds to not so secretly check on Kakashi, so that was something.<p>

Kakashi observed Guy more than he observed the valley. The dogs were down there anyway, and he knew that nothing would escape them.

Guy lay in the grass, on his side, his blanket bunched around his waist. Like most shinobi, he was able to sleep practically anywhere; a warm spot in the sun was far from a challenge. Kakashi watched the rise and fall of his chest, the small blades of grass stirring in his breath. In this moment he wouldn't have been able to describe how exactly he felt about Guy, about any of this.

* * *

><p>Morning was slowly easing into noon. Kakashi's stomach rumbled a little and his legs were beginning to ache. He thought about getting up and walking around, maybe even abandoning his post to go hunting, but in the end, he remained where he was, too unwilling to rouse Guy from his sleep. He didn't want any further disagreements.<p>

Normally, needling and teasing Guy was fun, but this time—

Kakashi glanced over at his sleeping friend, at the dark half-moons of his lashes fanned out on his cheek, and sighed softly to himself. Maybe, if things had been different back then…

* * *

><p><em>The first thing he did after the quick debriefing in Sandaime's office was go home, take a shower and check for bleeding. If there was bleeding, Kakashi knew, he'd probably have to go to the hospital, no matter how much he loathed the idea. <em>

_He sat down on the floor in his tiny bathroom with a mirror and craned his neck. No bleeding that he could see. Everything looked normal- or at least he thought so. He hadn't exactly spent much time examining this part of his body before. _

_It was a relief, anyway. He wouldn't have to do anything about this, wouldn't have to think about this any longer. It still hurt a little when he sat or moved too fast, but the pain was minimal, negligible. _

_He was okay and so was his team._

* * *

><p><em>The next morning a knock on his door woke him up.<em>

_It was Guy. _

_Guy didn't really look at him. His eyes swept the ground; his shoulders were slack, caving inwards in what looked like a bad imitation of Kakashi's usual posture._

_When Kakashi opened, Guy asked whether he could come in. He _asked _instead of simply barging in and kicking off his sandals. Kakashi was so stunned he merely opened the door a fraction wider and nodded. He didn't know what to say._

_"Rival, I'm going to request a transfer," Guy said the moment he was in Kakashi's hallway, the moment the door had closed behind him. His face was anguished, as if he was suffering from a stomach ache. "I wanted to tell you in person."_

_Kakashi nodded absently. Suddenly, he found it difficult to look directly at Guy's face for any length of time. _

_"About what happened—" Guy was fidgeting as if he was having a fight or flight dilemma._

_"What happened?" Kakashi asked. Did he sound annoyed? Kakashi hadn't even meant to cut Guy off; he hadn't meant for Guy to flinch like that. _

_"Kakashi?"_

_He smiled. It was easy. He'd made mistakes the night before, but everything had turned out well for them. "Nothing happened." It was so easy to smile and let his eye close, shutting out the dimly lit hallway that was in desperate need of a fresh coat of paint and Guy's worried expression. "Okay, Guy? Nothing happened. No one got hurt. We're okay. Just forget about it."_

_"But—"_

_"Nothing happened."_

* * *

><p>Kakashi still remembered the hollow click of his door shutting behind Guy back then, how empty his apartment felt after he'd left. That day, Kakashi had gone to the memorial like he always did. He'd gone and he'd stood there, feeling blank.<p>

He was feeling the same way now, leaning back and staring into the wide open sky. The clouds were moving at a snail's pace above. Not really going anywhere.

Next to him, Guy shifted in his sleep.

He just needed closure. That was it. Kakashi could understand it on some level, some distant urge _he _didn't quite feel. Whatever you called it, once Guy had faced Statue again and taken care of him, this thing would blow over, just like it had back then. They would go back to Konoha and everything would be the way it was before.

Kakashi allowed himself to relax a little.

All he had to do was wait.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later the message arrived.<p>

Kakashi knew what it would say. He knew it even as he opened the vial while the hawk stared at him with its sharp yellow eyes. He knew it without so much as glancing at the unrolled slip of paper bearing Tsunade-sama's messy handwriting.

_Mission aborted. Another squad got there first. Target dead. Corpse already identified and on its way to Konoha. I'm giving you a few days off. Don't come back until you've dealt with this and don't you dare pretend you don't know what I mean. _

_Enjoy your vacation._

He looked over at Guy who was still asleep, completely unaware of what was going on around him, then he glanced at the message again, as if hoping that somehow it had changed during the second he hadn't had his eye on it.

Unsurprisingly, it hadn't.

_Well, shit._


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Guy woke up, the sun had slowly started its inevitable descent, and Kakashi had managed to go hunting without Guy so much as twitching in his sleep.

Kakashi was in the middle of skinning his prey – a hare, big enough for the two of them – blood dripping from his fingers, when Guy began to stir.

He'd put the message on the ground, secured with the weight of a small stone, practically in front of Guy's nose, so it would be the first thing he saw the moment he opened his eyes.

Now, Kakashi could have watched the gradual change in Guy as he stopped drifting through the vagueness of sleep and came back to firm reality; he could have watched Guy's face hardening with returning awareness of his surroundings, with memory flooding back. He didn't. Instead he focused on the slide of his kunai as he slipped it under still warm skin.

He heard Guy move, the gentle whisper of grass and leaves as his weight left them, then Guy yawned and stretched, still not entirely there since he hadn't said anything yet.

Kakashi drew his blade down, separating the dead animal from everything that made it more than a lump of flesh and bone.

"When did you go hunting?"

Guy's voice was just as alarmed and angry as Kakashi had expected. He didn't look up. Sunlight glinted off the edge of his kunai. Blood dripped into the grass.

"Read it," he said simply, pointing with his free hand. "There, under the stone."

The hare stared at him, empty-eyed. It didn't look much like a hare anymore.

* * *

><p>Kakashi built a fire while Guy raged.<p>

He picked kindling up off the ground near the thin forest at the bottom of the hill, gathering it in his arms like precious treasure. The whole time Guy stalked him, shouting at Kakashi as if they were in the middle of a howling storm.

"He isn't dead! You know he isn't! He's done this before! What are you doing?! We should be heading to Konoha! We need to look at the corpse! It's a trick! How can you-?!" A pause for agitated breathing.

"RIVAL!"

Kakashi was used to tuning Guy out. He had a lot of practice in this, in converting his friend's words to the meaningless rise and fall of his voice until he heard nothing but white noise, no more distracting than the sound of his own heart pumping in his ears.

He kneeled down and struck a match to light the thin branches and dry leaves he'd gathered and piled up within his neat circle of stones. To his satisfaction, the shy yellow flame began to lick at his little pile immediately. With one cupped hand he shielded it against any sudden gusts of wind and ignored the stomping feet of Guy who was pacing around him like a wolf circling his prey.

* * *

><p>"You hungry?" Kakashi asked once the fire was burning brightly and he had settled down in the grass with the meat and his kunai. In reply Guy merely stared at him, wide- and wild-eyed.<p>

"I'm going," Guy said as Kakashi cut his meat into chunks. "If you're not coming, I'm going alone." He had his hands on his hips in his_ I'm serious and nothing can stop me_- pose and Kakashi barely glanced up at him because he was _so_ tired of this.

"You're not going anywhere." Kakashi skewered piece of meat on one of the branches he'd prepared. "Because if he's dead, his corpse sure isn't going anywhere and if he is still alive, he might show up here after all."

"You don't think he's coming." An accusation.

"No. I think they got him good this time." Kakashi held his skewer out over the flickering fire and watched the meat darken.

"He's still out there! He has to be!"

"Why?" He moved the branch carefully to make sure that every side of his future meal got enough heat. The smell was already delicious. "So you can kill him to get closure? That's not how life works," he said.

"You—" Guy was wrestling with himself, visibly. He looked about ready to have a seizure. Kakashi had learned to be wary of his friend's temper; it usually made him do stupid things. If Guy ripped his gates open now and ran for Konoha, Kakashi wouldn't be able to stop him.

"It's over, Guy. Let it go." Kakashi said gently, hoping he didn't sound too patronizing. He patted the ground next to him. "Sit down, eat something."

Guy just glared at him, at the fire, at the innocent meat on its innocent stick. His nostrils flared. "This fire is a dead giveaway, rival! They'll be able to see it—"

"From beyond the grave? I don't think so."

"How can you be like this?!" With a thump, Guy was on his knees, apparently felled by Kakashi's coolness.

Kakashi hoped that that was it. They could go back to their old routine now, right?

"Just one of my many talents, I guess," he drawled.

Guy didn't react. He hung his head, his dark bangs obscuring his face. The rapid rise and fall of his shoulders suggested heavy, labored breathing, Then, his fists struck the ground hard enough to make Kakashi flinch.

Slowly, Kakashi put his skewer aside, sticking it into the earth near the fire, and cleared his throat. This was bad. Guy didn't freak out. Not for real, at least.

"Guy?"

Was he crying? Kakashi studied his friend's shaking shoulders and watched for tears dripping from his face. Nothing so far. In a way the silence was even more unnerving than sobbing would have been.

Kakashi was torn. Some part of him wanted to walk over to Guy and put a hand on his shoulder, but there were other parts that held him back, kept him sitting where he was, staring.

He heard a noise like a sob, only deeper, that seemed to wrench itself right into his guts.

"Nothing happened?" Guy choked out. "Is that it? I'm not like you, Kakashi."

"Guy…" Kakashi wanted to get up, he really did, but situations like this… He wasn't good at this. He wanted this to end.

Still on his knees, Guy raised his head and looked at Kakashi with wet eyes full of anguish. "What good is a man who can't even protect the person he loves?" "What good am I if I can't—" he broke off, his eyes searching Kakashi's.

_The person he loves?_

Memories of Guy at that age - what had they been? Eighteen? Kakashi didn't even remember – anyway, Guy had been an awkward teenager, loud and strange and overly familiar, issuing challenges and calling Kakashi _rival _and trying to be with him all the time.

_The person he loves_, those words were still ringing in Kakashi's ears. _It couldn't be, could it?_

The mere suggestion made him nauseous. Like the world had suddenly been turned upside down.

"I hurt you," Guy continued in that strained voice that weighed heavy on Kakashi's shoulders.

Kakashi shook his head. There was so much wrong with this situation, he didn't even know where to begin, but one thing he was sure of.

"You didn't hurt me, Guy. It wasn't your fault. I never blamed you." Kakashi said, not breaking eye contact with Guy although he wanted to. The last part, that wasn't entirely true. "And I'm fine." On this he was firm. "It was never like_ that_."

Like that woman who had been on his ANBU squad, only for a few weeks, who had, when one guy – a creep, sure, but a harmless one – groped her butt as a joke, beaten him into a pulp. Two men had to pull her off him or she would have killed him. She was suspended from duty for that and later transferred into some paper pushing position. No one mentioned the incident again.

There were things you just didn't talk about. It was a tacit agreement that everyone he knew adhered to.

"Just come over here." Kakashi hated how impatient he sounded, like he had something to hide. "Eat something." He felt as if he was coaxing an animal, a creature that didn't even understand his language, whose actions were completely unpredictable.

He could see Guy's pain; it was right there, in his eyes, in his rigid posture, in the way he rubbed his fists against his thighs. Guy's eyes swiveled to the fire, away from Kakashi. His lips were pressed together into a bitter line. He looked as lost as Kakashi felt.

And that wasn't right because Guy had risked his life for Kakashi a thousand times – and vice versa – and Kakashi had the sudden, dooming realization that, for once, he had to be better than this. Even if he couldn't do it for his own sake…

"Look, maybe…" he began. "Maybe it was wrong, what I said to you back then." Although he wasn't entirely sure it had been, but if Guy needed this—Whatever happened, Kakashi didn't want to have to add another name to his list of regrets. "If you want to talk…" He shrugged as nonchalantly as he could manage. "Well… I'm here."


	8. Chapter 8

Guy accepted the offer far too quickly, in Kakashi's opinion. He'd only made it half-heartedly. In all honesty, he wasn't at all eager to have this conversation. The topic seemed like one giant exploding tag waiting to be triggered. Letting it rest and moving on, that was what Kakashi wanted most, but he'd made the offer. He'd reached out and there was no going back now that Guy had actually come over to sit by the fire.

"Do you think I'm weak now, rival?" Guy sounded dejected. He'd been staring into the flames for a bit, holding his own skewer a little too far from the fire to be convincing.

To be honest, Kakashi was surprised by the question; he'd expected more shouting. Subdued Guy still freaked him out. He couldn't help shooting his friend sidelong glances to check for any signs of impending violent outbursts.

"No. But I don't understand you." That was the truth, at least. It was as if a chasm had opened up between him and Guy. "Why can't you let it rest?" Kakashi asked." What difference does it make who kills him? As long as he's dead…"

"_If _he's dead," Guy said. Once more Kakashi glanced over at him, studying his profile. With the sun slowly sinking behind the clouds on the horizon, it was getting darker and darker, and the firelight cast ominous shadows on Guy's serious face.

Kakashi shrugged. He felt ambivalent about the whole thing. Statue was some smuggling lowlife, a petty criminal. Whether he was alive or dead – it didn't matter one way or the other as far as he was concerned.

"Frankly, I don't care and I don't understand why you do."

Guy looked at him as if he was the crazy one, with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows. When he spoke, his voice was dangerously low and sharp like the hiss of the sizzling meat on Kakashi's stick. "They made me hurt you. They made me _humiliate_ you."

That word was like a slap. It brought heat to Kakashi's face. He jabbed his skewer back into the earth and turned on Guy.

"Isn't that for me to decide? How hurt I was? How humiliated I was?" Outside of battle, his voice never rose above a certain level. He wasn't the kind of person who shouted or raged. That was Guy's part, and he didn't do it now. But, for once, Kakashi _wanted_ to. "What? You've been looking down on me ever since then?"

Guy flinched."No! I could never—"

"I'm not some kind of victim, Guy. I made a decision back then, and I got you home with nothing but a few scratches and bruises. Maybe you didn't understand it then, but now? You've got your own squad; you're responsible for your students and you should know that you have to do whatever it takes to get them through their missions in one piece."

_And I told you before you signed up for ANBU. I warned you. _Kakashi was tense with anger. He didn't feel like eating anymore, and even less like looking at Guy. _But you wouldn't listen._

"I know that," Guy said, hanging his head.

"Then what? " Listlessly, Kakashi poked at the fire with a branch. Sparks flew and went out in an instant like dying fireflies. "We can't undo it, Guy."

"I know that too." Guy's defiance seemed to have gone. _Good_. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, producing no sound like a stranded fish. "I just… when it comes to you…" The words were mumbled, Kakashi could barely hear them over the cracking fire.

Then Guy straightened. "I wanted to do it right this time. I wanted to protect you," he said, his back stiff with determination.

But this was ridiculous. Not to mention arrogant.

Kakashi bristled. "When have I ever needed your protection?" It was a rhetorical question although he knew Guy could bring up several instances. Those times, though, had been during fights in which Kakashi had saved Guy's own behind as well. It was a give and take, there was no room for one-sided_ I'm your protector_- bullshit here.

Guy, however, just shook his head. "You did back then and I couldn't—"

"You followed my orders, just like you were supposed to do. _I_ was in charge and _I_ was responsible." This was a fact he wouldn't allow to be buried under Guy's irrational guilt. "That's all there is to it," he said briskly. "If anything, _I _should apologize to you." And maybe he should have, back then. Maybe he should have said something after the mission. Clearly, he'd overestimated Guy's ability to cope, and now he was starting to get angry with himself.

Guy was still shaking his head. "No. You weren't just the captain of my squad, Kakashi." He paused, visibly bracing himself in a way that made Kakashi tense up. "You were my important person. As a man I—"

"Guy!" Kakashi interrupted. If he stopped this in time, maybe – He couldn't even meet Guy's pleading eyes anymore. "You… shouldn't say that…"

"Why? It's true, I-"

"Look, I get it, but that was years ago. We were just kids." He needed to be firm on this. Nip it in the bud. Although he knew very well, that, back then, he would have been the last person to think of himself as a ʻkidʼ. As far as he was concerned, he hadn't been a kid since he'd made chuunin. But Guy, Guy was different. "I mean, we've all moved on," he said lightly. "Right?" And then Kakashi made the mistake of looking at him. "Guy?"

Guy was downright slumped over, his skewer was dangling into the fire, the meat turning into charcoal.

"How could I, after what I did to you?" Guy asked, his voice rough. "What kind of man do you think I am?"

"You didn't…" _What? Nothing happened? _What could he say that wouldn't just make everything that much worse? "God, Guy…"

_My important person._

_What good is a man who can't even protect the person he loves?_

Guy couldn't have been more obvious and it all made a horrible kind of sense now.

That awful kiss and Kakashi thinking that it had to have been Guy's first, everything else…

Of course Guy would've been the one person in ANBU who'd waited, who'd believed in actually _courting _a crush. Making things special, waiting for the right moment.

Kakashi hadn't even _known._

And now that he knew, he was left wishing he didn't.


	9. Chapter 9

_What do you do with information you never asked for? Information you never wanted to have in the first place?_

Kakashi's strategy was simple – it was also tried and true. He withdrew strategically.

"It's getting late," he said after he had forced himself to eat his dry meat. He got up, hands braced on his thighs like an old man. He expected his knees to creak with disuse too, but they didn't. No, he still was nowhere near as old as he felt.

Above them, the sky had become tinted a faint pink as if it was blushing, but dark clouds were looming on the horizon. Kakashi frowned at them, then down at Guy, who had been sitting almost motionlessly for several minutes now.

Without thinking, he reached out and ruffled Guy's hair, feeling the smooth strands slip through his fingers even as Guy tensed under his touch, probably as startled by the action as Kakashi himself was. This was the kind of gesture he'd use on Tenzou or Naruto, but Guy? He wondered what had possessed him, and yet, his hand remained where it was.

"Cheer up," he said. "I'm going to get some sleep now. If it starts to rain, come into the tent. The dogs are down in the valley. They know to watch in shifts; they've got it under control. You can trust them, okay?"

He felt Guy's nod, the vague dip of Guy's head under his hand, more than he saw it in the dim light from the glowing embers left of their fire.

"Good." Kakashi walked past, finally, the silky feeling of Guy's hair already lodged in his memory. He shook his head at himself as he ducked into the tent, hoping to get rid of it somehow.

* * *

><p>Kakashi couldn't sleep.<p>

He lay awake, Guy's words endlessly replaying in his head.

_What good is a man who can't even protect the person he loves?_

_My important person._

_How could I, after what I did to you? What kind of man do you think I am?_

He wanted to bury his head under his pillow to ward off the thoughts, but he didn't have one, just his rolled-up vest, which just wasn't the same.

Though Guy had given him all the pictures to the puzzle, he didn't feel like putting them together anymore. Knowing turned out to be worse than not knowing.

_Why me?_ he thought almost petulantly. _Couldn't you have fallen in love with someone else?_

Beneath him, the ground was hard and uneven. The pocket of his vest was digging uncomfortably into his cheek. There were so many things he could blame for his inability to sleep, and yet he knew that what kept him awake was nothing but his conscience.

He didn't want to think of Guy as someone who'd been broken by a mission. He'd seen enough people like that and Guy simply _wasn't_ one of them, couldn't be. So maybe he wasn't broken, just a little dented. And who among their peers wasn't? They all had their scars. It was normal.

Guy would get over it.

Except that he clearly hadn't during the last years. And how could he? When his first and only time had been like that?

Kakashi stared at the dark canvas that served as the thin barrier between him and the night sky. He felt cold and miserable, guilty. He wanted to help Guy, but he had no idea how, whether it was even possible at this point.

* * *

><p>Kakashi hadn't slept at all and was beginning to give up on trying when he heard the first little <em>drip<em>. It was excuse enough for him to sit up in the dark tent, determined to go outside and get Guy before he would be drenched.

There was no need, though, only the _swish_ and _slap_ of the tent flap opening and closing as Guy ducked inside.

For a second, Guy just blinked into the darkness, his back bent to avoid bumping into the low hanging canvas ceiling.

Kakashi couldn't make out more than the surprised raise of his eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, Rival," Guy said.

"You didn't. I was up." Kakashi folded his hands in his lap. Their paleness was almost ghostly. He felt oddly naked without his gloves and forehead protector, even in the dark.

"Ah." Guy nodded absently. "If you don't mind…"

The size of the tent didn't allow either of them to give the other space, though Kakashi sensed they both felt the urge to back away. As it was, there was only enough room for them to lie down if they did so directly next to each other. Which had never been an issue before.

"Just lie down, will you?" His impatience was audible and it made Kakashi want to bite his tongue. Guy was already apologetic enough. "You can get some sleep if you want. The dogs are outside."

There was only a vague noise of acknowledgement from Guy, so Kakashi lay back down and turned on his side, facing away from his friend. Maybe that would make it easier for him to relax.

Then, he closed his eye and waited.

* * *

><p>Sleep didn't come. Kakashi listened to the steady pitter-patter of rain drumming gently onto the canvas of their tent. He listened to Guy's regular breathing and the rustle of fabric when he shifted occasionally. These were familiar, comforting sounds, and yet they did nothing to put Kakashi's mind at rest. They did nothing to loosen the feeling of guilt that had clawed its way into his insides.<p>

"Guy?"

"Hm?"

"…I'm sorry," Kakashi said softly.

"Kakashi…" There was a hint of protest in Guy's voice. He trailed off, though, waited for Kakashi to continue.

Some things, Kakashi found, were easier to admit under a protective shroud of darkness.

"Saying ʻnothing happenedʼ was selfish." It was good to get it out; he felt lighter already. "Just because it was how _I _wanted to go on. I should have given you a chance to say something."

"Don't apologize to me." Now Guy really was protesting, his voice hoarse and almost harsh. Kakashi turned around, finally, to face him. Guy was on his back, staring up at the canvas.

"No, I should have." Kakashi studied Guy's profile. Even in the relative darkness, he would have recognized that nose anywhere. The thought made him smile despite the heaviness in his chest. "It was a lie anyway, what I said earlier," he added lightly. "That I don't need you to protect me. The truth is… I've kind of come to rely on it, haven't I?" His voice softened. "On you guarding my back."

"Kakashi—" Guy rolled over, brows furrowed. Whatever he wanted to say seemed stuck somewhere in his throat. There was only a hand's breadth between them, but Kakashi didn't find the intimacy awkward. He was so used to being close to Guy that it barely registered.

"I get used to things and I don't like change much." Guy probably knew that by now. Kakashi took a deep breath, steeling himself for the next truth. "If I'd had my way, you would never have gone past chuunin." As expected, Guy gasped, his eyes so wide Kakashi could see the white in them standing out against the darker hues of Guy's skin.

Kakashi continued quickly to avoid getting sidetracked by protests, "It's not that I thought you couldn't handle ANBU – I _knew _you had what it takes – I just never wanted you to _have _to handle it, you know? I wanted you to stay the same."

He still wanted that. He wanted to be able to rely on it, on Guy being there, challenging him for the rest of his life. He wanted to keep seeing Guy's stupid poses, his sparkly grin and hear his loud, hyperbolic declarations. He wanted to be able to take him for granted despite knowing that he never would be.

In the space between them, Guy's left hand was curling into a loose fist in a motion that, or so Kakashi thought, was probably completely unconscious.

Any second now, Guy would start crying and Kakashi didn't want that. He wanted things to be okay, in a non-sappy way. He didn't want Guy to be a sexually traumatized virgin for the rest of his life. He didn't even know why that was so important to him, but it _was._ Guy deserved happiness.

"When we get back to Konoha, I think you should find someone," Kakashi said firmly. "I don't like the idea of you—"

Guy simply cut him off, "No. I'm a shinobi. My body isn't meant for that."

_Isn't meant for that?_

Kakashi was stunned. For a moment, he was reeling, staring at Guy's serious expression.

"Guy, that's nonsense. Plenty of ninja have sex. Most of them. Hell, _I _sure haven't been living a life of celibacy." _Probably not the most sensitive thing to say to someone who might still have a crush on you, _Kakashi thought. But then, Guy had to have witnessed his shameless flirting countless times by now. Anyway, Kakashi had tried to lighten the mood at least a little, but he could see that he'd failed.

Guy's jaw was set. He looked angry and incredibly sad at the same time.

"It's different for me," he said gravely. "I won't hurt anyone again."

"Of course you won't." Kakashi looked into Guy's anguished eyes. He hated what he saw in them. "You don't have to punish yourself like this."

"No, I decided back then. To work even harder. To protect the people I love. That's what I'm here for. I won't let anything like that happen ever again!" For a moment, Guy had been loud enough to drown out the sound of the rain. When he stopped talking, the sounds from outside seemed to have grown louder. Every drop that hit the canvas was echoing in Kakashi's ears.

_Guy and his stupid self-imposed rules. Not to mention his faulty logic._

"Guy, that has_ nothing_ to do with—"

"You're wrong. I can't be as tender, as gentle—"

That certainly was the stupidest thing Kakashi had heard in a long time.

"_Guy_," he interrupted, a hint of slightly forced humor in his voice, "I've seen you; whenever one of your brats has a runny nose or scraped knee, you fuss over them like some mother hen. You're one of the most tender people I know."

The silence that stretched between them after that was deafening. Kakashi had been hoping for some kind of reply; he'd have preferred an argument, even. It would have been easier to fight than to just watch Guy be miserable, to watch him press his lips together, his fingers clawing at his mat.

Kakashi could almost feel their pull inside his chest.

_How can he honestly believe these things about himself? Guy? Of all people…_

It was wrong, and it made Kakashi want to grab him and shake him by the shoulders.

He grabbed Guy's restless hand instead, covering it with his own to still those calloused fingers.

Guy froze and stared into Kakashi's eye with the look of someone whose back had hit a wall.

In the darkness of his mind, Kakashi could feel the words forming, collecting on the back of his tongue. Words he should have said a long time ago. But maybe it wasn't too late.

"Even _then_… I knew you wouldn't hurt me. And you _didn't_. I trusted you; I _still_ do." Kakashi would have given Guy his trademark smile, the closed-eyed, semi-sincere one he used for all occasions, but somehow, he found himself unable to. His mouth was dry as if speaking the words had been like breathing ashes.

Finally, he felt tired enough to sleep.

"Kakashi…" Guy whispered. His knuckles were rough under Kakashi's palm.

His sobs were softer than the sound of falling rain.


End file.
